Ms. Super Tough

Okay, so it’s been almost a month since my last post. But only almost, not quite. So I’m not a total slacker, right?

I figured out what’s held me back from writing. I realized when I’m just writing about our normal everyday lives and such, it’s much easier than writing anything about me that has real weight. (Not my weight, although that does weigh into it but we’ll get to that later.) Anyone who knows me well knows I’m a pretty private person. At this point you’re probably asking why I ever started a blog in the first place. Well, I’m private about myself. I don’t mind telling the world about anything Kev and the Wildman are up to, especially if it’s funny. I’m especially uneasy sharing my struggles and anything that could appear as a weakness. Because I’m super tough – can’t you just tell that by looking?

See? Super tough.

Anyway, back on point. I’ve been putting off writing because I didn’t want to talk about the hard stuff. It’s much easier to convince myself that I should be catching up on Downton Abbey or planning to redecorate the living room. But this time I won’t. This time I’ll write something instead.

I mentioned in my last post that the previous year or two were difficult. I refused to find happiness. It wasn’t always a conscious decision, but it was a decision nonetheless. Some days I did nothing at all outside of sitting at home and wishing I were somewhere else. Other days I went through my day at work or wherever I was with the minimal effort or true involvement. I didn’t take care of myself, and really did the least I could get away with.

But I want this year to be different. This year I’m going to live. I want to have fun with friends and the family and make more happy memories. I want to put an effort into my work so I can fully enjoy the rewards of knowing I gave it my best. I’m going to take better care of my body, my mind and my soul. I’m going to share more with the people I love and who love me.

I started with this blog. I want to find the fun and humor in every day life again and share it with you. Second, I recommitted myself to my work and my job. I told my boss I know I haven’t given her my best effort, and I’m tired of being mediocre. That’s not how I roll. And speaking of rolling, I’m going to take better care of my self by starting to eat healthier and get some exercise. I’m not happy with how I’ve let myself go, and I’m going to do something about it.

And I’m still going to have bad days, I know that. And that’s okay. But I’m not going to let the bad days become bad weeks, months and years. I’m going to turn up the music and dance – no matter how hard the Wildman laughs at me. And I’m going to live.