It’s not the how, it’s the why

The photographer at work

Whenever someone hears me talking about our typical schedule with Kev working two jobs (with one at night) and all the things we’re involved with, I’m usually asked how we do it. My answer typically has something to do with lots of coffee and my Google calendar. But lately I’ve been thinking more about why we do what we do than the how of making it work.

Why does Kev work 4 nights a week at the airport and 3 days a week at the school? So that he can finish his bachelor’s degree this spring and at the same time remain involved in the work he loves in the photo lab at the school. Why does he go without sleep for almost 24 hrs straight some days? So that he could work in his classes into the shortest time possible and coach the Wildman’s Mite hockey team. Why do we leave the house at 7am every morning to drive the Wildman to school all the way on the other side of town? To give him the opportunity to fall in love with school and learning. (Which he has!) Why does Kev dedicate hours a week to hockey and I dedicate hours a week to Scouting? Because we believe in these programs and what they (and us by our involvement) can offer not only our child but many other children whose parents may not be able to commit the time.

But even without breaking it down to the individual elements, I can look at it like this – why do we do all the things we do, sacrificing our time together (mostly Kev and I’s time together as a couple) for various obligations? Because in the end we’ll all be better for it. Wildman and I miss spending time with Kev when he’s at work or sleeping, but we know it’s only temporary until he graduates, gets his Master’s and then gets to focus on the career of his dreams – teaching and working in the photography department at a college. It’s crazy running from place to place, always meeting up somewhere and barely getting there on time, but we’re managing to make the activities our son loves a priority for both him and us.

And in all of this, it makes the time we do get to spend together a little more special, and I appreciate it more now than I did when we lived the opposite life – Kev and I worked for the same company for almost 8 years and were almost always together when Wildman was an infant. It would be nice to somehow fall a little more in between the two extremes, where we have the time and the chance to have our time together as a family but also have time to pursue our own interests, but I know that day will come.  Until then, I’ll continue to spend most of my time in the car driving from one place to another, drinking coffee and checking my calendar on the phone. Or doing laundry at 10pm when I’m home and Kev’s at work. Is it ideal? Not at all. Is it going to be worth it some day? Yes, I absolutely believe it will be.


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