Yesterday morning I was rushing around as usual, trying to get the three of us out the door. See, mornings are pretty hectic at our house since all but one day a week we carpool the approximately 23 miles from our house to Wildman’s school, then my office and finally to Kev’s school. Sometimes the order changes based on what time it is when we get to town. It may seem to the outside observer that getting all 3 of us going at once should be easier, but it’s not. And Wednesday mornings seem to be the most hectic because Kev is coming straight home from work, jumping in the shower and then heading out of the house again to go to class. (Hopefully, this is the last week for that.) It’s not unusual for both Wildman and Kevin to sleep on the drive in on Wednesday.
Anyway, back to yesterday. I was in the kitchen making breakfast for all 3 of us, packing a lunch and trying to make sure to remember to take the food I had prepared the night before to the office for a cook-out at noon. I’m not sure where Kev was, although there’s a good chance he was still in the shower. Wildman was taking his dear sweet time getting himself together, and I was telling him what I’m sure were too many things to do, all at once. I looked over at him and yelled, “and will you tie your shoes already! NOW!”
He very calmly and coolly bent over to tie them and said “Relax Mommy, it’s under control.” At that moment I could have gone two ways – gotten more upset with him for not taking the proper sense of urgency I thought was needed at the time, or I could laugh at the wisdom coming from this now 8 yr old young man. I chose to laugh. I looked at him, smiled and said okay. And I started thinking that he really had it right – just because things weren’t happening when I thought they should, they were still happening. It was under control by someone, somewhere.
That thought stayed with me the rest of the day, and is still with me today. Anyone who really knows me can tell you I’m a planner, a stress-er and a worrier. I am also a control freak. Yeah, I admit it. But I also have come to understand, especially recently with how chaotic our lives have become, that I can’t always control everything. And sometimes I just have to let go and believe even the things I’m not controlling can still be under control. Now, do I trust that my second grader is going to manage to get himself ready for school without my prodding and pushing and reminding? Not on your life! But do I have to give him a little space to handle things on his own? Probably. Just like I have to step back, relax, and just let life happen sometimes.
And for the record, we were actually early to Wildman’s school yesterday.